Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
Thoughts on Goodbye
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10/24/13
“It gives me
much pain when visitors leave,” Daniel said, in Spanish. “They always say they will come back to visit, but its
already been close to six years since the first ones said that, and they still
have not come back.”
This
afternoon, we will get back on the cattle truck that first brought us to Bua,
this time going in the opposite direction. Charged with new experiences, memories, skills, and perhaps
some small trinkets and tokens we have picked up along the way (as well as the
remnants of whatever bacteria and parasites may be lingering in our digestive
tracts), we will head to Santo Domingo, to catch a bus to Quito, and spend the
next few days in transition before we begin the next leg of our journey.
As
we have been approaching the end of our stay in Bua, I have been thinking a lot
about our trip in perspective: how our stay here is only but one part of many
in a journey that will take our group of nineteen around the world, and yet,
for those whose lives we have come into for the past month and change, their
journey ends now. They as
well might be left with new memories, skills, knowledge, trees and trinkets,
but for the most part, I don’t doubt that their lives will carry on mostly as before
our arrival after we depart.
This
juxtaposition, of a group in motion, with the capacity to move around the world
so freely, entering and exiting a background of people living, and working hard
to live, fixed in their setting for the unforeseeable future, seems to me, when
I give it thought, a somewhat cruel, in-your-face exposition of our power. Aside from the obvious fact that we
have the money to propel ourselves around the world, there is the less noticed
fact that we our mostly embraced by the governmental bureaucracies that govern
the flow of people into and out of each country that we visit. Even if one of these Tsachila were able
to save enough money to buy a plane ticket to the United States, our customs
and immigration departments would no doubt make it quite difficult for an
economically poor, rural farmer to actually gain permission to enter our
country.
And
so, as Daniel asks me if I will return, I have to hold myself back from asking
him to return the favor. My mind
reactively makes my tongue want to say that after my visit to Bua, it is now
his turn to come visit me. Yet I
only need a few seconds of mediated thought to make it register in my mind that
this is not possible. “I would
love to come back and visit,” I say, imagining some day in the future when I
come back with a loved one, a new spouse, a family member, to show them these
places where I’ve walked and introduce them to my family of friends around the
world. And whether it is the pull
of true friendship or the feeling that my return might in some way repay a debt
to these people I have acquired due to my mobile freedom and cancel this ounce
of guilt that I have for having this freedom, I feel in my heart truth when I
reply that I would love to return.
I
temper my words with a dose of realism, informing Daniel that there is no way I
could have predicted, after thirty years of life, that I would have found
myself in Ecuador twice in one year, let alone once, my words implying a
certain mystery to my life’s path thus far. And although Daniel will no doubt continue to live much a
sedentary life, most likely working the rest of his days and dying in the
community where he was born, he recognizes the meaning in my statement, acknowledges
the mystery of life, and echoes my sentiments that it might be too much to
guarantee a return visit. I add
his email address to a pocket notebook, he mine to a loose paper napkin, and
with this exchange, the more realistic possibility of future contact. And so, with the bonds that we have
formed over the past month so delicately held in the throes of life’s great
mystery and the miracles of modern technology, we exchange hugs and a goodbye,
and looking into each other’s eyes, acknowledge this moment of affection and
friendship for what it is.
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As some may have noticed, I have not been blogging as much as normal on my expeditions abroad. As we venture into new places in the coming months in the eastern hemisphere, with cultures quite distinct from my own and those I've traveled in before, I will no doubt have more thoughts to share with the world. Until then, and through that time as well, I encourage you to check in on the student blogs. Many of the students do a fantastic job of summarizing our activities and adding their own questions and reflections. This might be a good way of keeping track of the timeline and getting a different perspective on our trip. The link below is to the TBB student blogs. The group I am traveling with is TBB West. Enjoy!
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